Dog Review: The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight

Yep, this is me calling Batman a dog. Yep, I know Heath Ledger won the Oscar for his performance. I think it's just guilt for overlooking him for Brokeback Mountain. I liked Christian Bale in many things before, but he just got over dark and broody in this film.

Here's what I miss: a plot with a purpose. If you are just a bad man like say The Joker, you have to have some motivation for being so violent. I need to see some childhood trauma, some industrial accident or just some therapy session gone terribly wrong.

OK, I'm not dumb, I get that this is a comic book film. I just expect a LITTLE depth. Why protect people if you do it in ways that risks them as much as the bad guys?

It looks like every branch except Lakeside has a copy. Look for the DVD in Bandon, Coos bay, Coquille, Dora, Myrtle Point, North Bend, Powers and SWOCC.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468569/

Amazon: The Dark Knight (Widescreen Single-Disc Edition)

Funny Watchables.

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

Someone steals the Miami Dolphin's mascot and they hire the title character to find the animal. Jim Carrey slides on the scene with his hilarity and investigates what happens.

To call this character and film weird would be an understatement. Toilet humor and making funny faces tend to be Carrey's stock and trade so to expect anything less would be to be in denial about him as an actor. Still, it has a lot of laughs and twists you wont expect.

Library: VHS; Coquille & Powers. DVD; Coos Bay.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109040/

Amazon: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Get Smart

Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway charm as Control agents 86 and 99 in this remake of the classic TV show. It worked even if you either didn't see or weren't a big fan of the original series.

They took an approach of paying homage to the original while making a serious plot film with funny circumstances and dialog. The bits made sense and weren't just shoved in to be funny.

Fans will love the cameo with Bernie Kopell who played Siegfried a KAOS agent on the original series. Watch Careful for his appearance, it comes and goes quick.

Library: Bandon, Coos Bay, Dora & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425061/

Amazon: Get Smart (Single-Disc Widescreen Edition)

Ellen Degeneres : Here and Now

I like her comedy style, just with this one, I felt it was everything I've heard her do before. If you're a fan and don't mind seeing the jokes she did on Carson or Letterman again, grab it and enjoy. It's good, I just want something new and fresh.

Library: Bandon & North Bend

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365156/

Amazon: Ellen DeGeneres - Here and Now

Soso Tuesday

1st and Ten

This HBO series form the mid 80s shows us the story of the California Bulls, a fictitious football team owned by Delta Burke. The male owners try and dominate and manipulate her into doing their dirty work like getting the players to agree to random drug testing.

Generally the plot involves contrasts between players misbehaving in goodhearted fun or vicious abusive team destroying ways. Very little gave me any insight into behind the scenes. It attempted a "dramedy" air and didn't quite pull it off.

I laughed some and almost put this in a higher category. At the same time, other scenes just made me cringe. The first season (which I happened to watch second) had some female frontal nakedness and just seemed exploitative. The second season featured O.J. Simpson. Kind of sad that his was one of the better acting jobs.

I only watched the first disk of the three available. If you have seen the other seasons, please comment and let me know what you thought.

Library: Bandon.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086660/

Amazon: 1st and Ten - Complete Collection

Against All Odds

Disgruntled football star Jeff Bridges gets involved in a scheme to find the girlfriend of his mobster buddy James Woods. We're not exactly sure why Bridges gets sent or why the girl and he get together but they do.

Rachel Ward plays the daughter of a wealthy woman real estate developer. Bribery, intrigue and murder follow. My beef comes from not having any heroes. It seems everyone craps on everyone else. Powerful people bribe politicos, mobsters manipulate their "friends" with blackmail and women betray their lovers.

I'd just take a pass and find something else to watch. Try The Last Boy Scout with Bruce Willis. Much better film and has a similar feel.

Library: VHS; Bandon. DVD; Bandon & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086859/

Amazon: Against All Odds (Special Edition)

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - I just found out this is no longer available in DVD format so I'm going to not review it.

Good Review:

Fast Food My Way
with Jacques Pépin

Normally, I leave off the how to DVDs, but I wasn't sure what this film was about so I selected and THEN found out it was Jacques Pepin. He's a funny very French chef that's been around cooking shows for ages.

He's friendly and encourages us to try new and interesting dishes. Though I haven't tried any of the dishes from this program, I did try once to make stuffed chicken breast with plum sauce. I could have done better, but no one got sick. Yay me.

North Bend and SWOCC have copies of what might be the same program, but they have different data so I can't tell for sure. Then there's a book that would probably be the most helpful for cooking. Pick that up from Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475912/

Buy this fine cooking DVD from Amazon: Jacques Pepin Fast Food My Way

Coquille Gem List

Last week I did a single film review. This week I've gone back to the lists of great films from a particular branch. I hope you will enjoy these 11 films as much as I did.

About a Boy Sweet story about a grown up boy who meets a boy who's grown up too fast.

Because of Winn-Dixie Family friendly dog tale about an uprooted little girl and the dog she befriends.

The Closer Cable series about a lady cop who manipulates defendants to confess.

Dreamgirls Fictionalized account of the rise of a girl group from Motown.

Enter the Lone Ranger The first few episodes of the original black and white film serials.

Eragon Family friendly fantasy.

The Incredibles A family of animated super heroes fight an evil genius. Suitable for the entire brood.

The Razor's Edge VHS ONLY. A tale of a man trying to find himself after he experiences World War I as an ambulance driver.

Serenity Movie finale to the science fiction series Firefly about a ship full of ragamuffins.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Cute teen girl flick about a pair of magical pants that fits all four girls.

The Visitor Love a great character driven drama? This is for you.

Thursday Dog Pile

Because I missed last week's Dog post I am tacking on a couple extras. You will NOT enjoy these films.

Against All Hope

I know I've seen this film before, but I haven't review it and I don't know why not. A drunk starts to talk to a preacher who tells him that God will make everything better. Terrible production values mixed with stupid plot just made this confusing and AWFUL.

Library: Bandon.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235166/

Amazon: Against All Hope

Even Money

Good people don't always make a good film. This follows the lives of a bunch of degenerate gamblers and how they get themselves in over their heads. Lots of death and mayhem.

Here's a part list of who's in it: Danny DeVito, Forest Whitaker, Kim Basinger, Kelsey Grammer and Ray Liotta. Some of them use their talents well in this film, but they couldn't begin to make it entertaining. If you want to see something interesting about gambling, watch The Cooler.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0404163/

Amazon: Even Money : Widescreen Edition

Evil's City

I've seen better acting in a high school play. Just don't even bother. This is what the library entry says: Two reporters from a college newspaper track down a forgotten California town, only to find it inhabited by murderous zombies. Maybe I need to invent a "Dead Dog" category just for crap like this.

Library: Bandon.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400329/

Amazon: Evil's City

Factotum

I cannot begin to tell you how deeply this film offended me. Matt Dillon plays a man who supposedly wants to write, but along the way he screws over employers, women and friends. He drinks and gambles too much and hits his degenerate drunk girlfriend. Marisa Tomei needs to find another decent part someday. AVOID.

Library: Bandon.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417658/

Amazon: Factotum

Fair Game

Memo: if they say "that was impossible," after a big stunt, turn off the film. Cindy Crawford and William Baldwin star in this clunker about a Russian mobster trying to kill a pretty lawyer. She stumbled upon the existence of an asset for a client, a boat the mafia guy was using to make a heist, and nearly dies for her efficiency.

Baldwin plays a cop who tries to protect her. Look for a cameo of Salma Hayek as his hot tempered Latina girlfriend. Or better yet, don't. Even the stunts don't save this poorly written and acted mess.

Library: Bandon & Coos Bay.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113010/

Amazon: Fair Game

Falling Down

Michael Douglas can act and he does convince me he's this guy, but I just couldn't grasp the point of the film. We're really not given an idea of what his stress points are that make him so crazy as to go on a rampage after being stuck in traffic. It just seemed all random and erratic. I want a setup and then an evaluation by a cop or counselor or someone.

Library: VHS; Bandon, Coos Bay, Coquille & Dora. DVD; Myrtle Point.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106856/

Amazon: Falling Down

Watchable Wednesday

Absent Minded Professor

Fred MacMurray stars in this silly tale of an inventor who creates some amazing rubber like substance that bounces super high. He coats the basketball team's sneakers and they begin winning.

In typical Disney form, a corrupt business man tries to steal the formula. This is a nice family friendly film from 1961. It's in black and white, but your kids will still like it.

Library: VHS; Bandon, Coos Bay, Myrtle Point & Powers. DVD; Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054594/

Amazon: The Absent-Minded Professor (Widescreen Edition)

Dragnet

Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks pay homage to the classic TV series with this madcap comedy film. A straight laced detective, Sgt. Joe Friday, tries to break up a mysterious cult looking for a virgin to sacrifice.

He and his scroungy partner find the girl, but the cult captures her. Sure they took a drama and made a comedy out of it, but that's alright. No one is really as stuff as the original Joe Friday.

The library system has several copies of the original series. They're quite watchable too. Look for the film at the branch below.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092925/

Amazon: Dragnet

Elf

Not really a huge Will Ferrell fan, but I LOVE Bob Newhart. Buddy finds out he's not a true elf and he goes to find his real father. How far wrong can you go watching Ferrell sit on Newhart's lap.

In general the cast just makes for a laugh party. Look for Edward Asner as Santa and James Caan, Mary Steenburgen and Zooey Deschanel will charm you with their comedy antics.

Library: VHS; Powers. DVD; Bandon, Dora & North Bend

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0319343/

Amazon: Elf : Widescreen Edition

Wallace & Gromit. The Curse of the Were-rabbit

Quite an entertaining pun filled romp about a pair of kindly exterminators who take all the animals and put them on the farm of their lady friend. One of them pair gets exposed to a Were-rabbit (like a were-wolf only in bunny form.) He then goes around terrorizing the town until his partner figures out it's him.

It might take a couple of watches to catch all the pun goodness. Many of them go by so fast. Husband Murry liked it more than I did, but I laughed enough to give this the watchable rank.

Library: Bandon, Coos Bay, Coquille, Myrtle Point and Powers.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312004/

Amazon:Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Widescreen Edition)

The 300 Spartans

This film depicts a more accurate and less mystical version of Spartan King Leonidas efforts to fight off a Persian invasion of thousands with just 300 of his own men. He did have some untrained fighters from other Greek states, but they were quite ineffective.

Made in 1962, this film looked old and worn. it lacked as much entertainment value as 300, but told the tale well enough. I think a good documentary with reenactments would be better.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055719/

Amazon: The 300 Spartans

Anchorman the Legend of Ron Burgundy

This 70s era comedy depicts a male dominated newsroom where a fresh faced new gal comes on the scene threatening the lead anchorman. Will Ferrell and Christina Applegate star.

Yes, there are laughs here and I'm sure fans of Farrell will love it, but I don't like when films just think stupid equals funny. Seems lazy and boring to me. Oh and not suitable for younger viewers.

Library: Bandon & North Bend

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0357413/

Amazon: Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Keanu Reeves stars as alien Klaatu sent to decide the fate of the Earth. As much as I loved the original, this one disappointed a lot. The filmmakers failed to realize the subtle message of the original that gave humanity a chance to change.

In this version the alien is dispassionate for the most part. Then he changes, but we're not really sure why. We also don't know why the woman helps him. Why destroy mankind when they have such powers. Why not just create a new planet and save species there.

It really seemed like an excuse to do a bunch of special effects. Get the original and avoid this one.

Library: Bandon & Coos Bay

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970416/

Amazon: The Day the Earth Stood Still (Two-Disc Widescreen Edition)

Donnie Brasco

Al Pacino and Johnny Depp do a good job, I just find mob flicks generally boring. An undercover FBI agent feels more at home with his mob buddies than his regular civilian life. You'll have to decide for yourself if these actors will inspire you to see this based on a true story flick. I forgot the plot and to me that's a bad sign.

Library: VHS; Lakeside. DVD; Coos Bay & Dora.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119008/

Amazon: Donnie Brasco (Special Edition)

Gem Review: Fail-safe

Fail-safe

For as much as I didn't like Dr. Strangelove, I loved this serious version of the same topic. A bomber group gets mixed up signals and begins an attack on Russia. President, Henry Fonda, has to attempt to thwart his own soldiers from setting off a nuclear bomb over Moscow.

First, we're twisted with serious "get them before they get us" rhetoric from Walter Matthau as a military consultant. Once the emergency starts, he urges the president and military to devastate the enemy while they're trying to figure out what's happening.

Strangely, the military personnel urge caution and cooperation. One general wonders aloud about the need for live bombs and the safety of systems set up to prevent errors.

Look for a very young Larry Hagman has the Russian translator helping the president and Dom DeLuise as a computer tech. All these comedic icons in serious rules, just shows the huge talent they can bring to great projects like this.

Though the nuclear threat no longer lingers in the same way, your pulse will race. The way the filmmaters foreshadow climatctic events, the sight of Henry Fonda shouldering the fate of the world from a desolate bunker setting and the tension created from acting proowess instead of wiz bang special effects all consipre to set us on the edge of our seat.

I sometimes overlook the special features, but have a look at these. It talks about how it compares to Dr. Strangelove and how George Clooney loved this screenplay so much he remade it in 2000.

Run don't walk to the library for this fantastic film. Look in Bandon for the DVD and Coquille has a copy of the VHS.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058083/

Head to Amazon to buy this amazing film: Fail-safe (Special Edition)

Unrelated Watch List

Bridget Jones's Dairy

A Brit girl flirts with her boss and lands him only to find out he's a philandering jerk. Renée Zellweger stars as Bridget with Hugh Grant as the boss man.

Eventually she comes to her senses and takes up with Colin Firth, but things go a bit wrong and they have a disagreement.

Lots of funny scenes of a single girl trying to manage a modern career. Bits of it smack of desperation, but that's funny I guess. I find it sad. Still worth a watch.

Library: VHS; Bandon, Coos Bay, Coquille & Powers. DVD; Coquille & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243155/

Amazon: Bridget Jones's Diary (Collector's Edition)

Chicago

This musical features folks you don't immediately associate with singing. Ambitious singer/dancers Renée Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones find themselves on death row together. They team up to try and make their cases go away with the help of lawyer Richard Gere.

Look for an outstanding performance from Queen Latifah as the prison matron. A lot of times when they take a successful play to film, they lose something. I think they managed to keep this Oscar winner just as entertaining as the stage version.

Library: Bandon, Dora, Coos Bay, Coquille, Dora & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299658/

Amazon: Chicago (Widescreen Edition)

A Doll's house

This classic Henrik Ibsen tale features Anthony Hopkins as Torvald Helmer a controlling husband who's wife Nora borrows money from a scurrilous character to save her husband's life. We see the couple now doing well and stable and Torvald wanting to fire the lender for being of low character. Nora, Claire Bloom, pleads with him to give the man his job back, but control freak Torvald refuses.

The money lender writes a letter threatening to expose Nora's borrowing and Torvald over reacts and hits her. He tells her she's unfit to be a mother. The money lender takes pity on her after a friend of hers asks him to and suddenly Torvald loves her again.

She realizes he's too erratic for her and packs her bags and she sets out ot find herself. She leaves her husband bewildered. I just love the strong confident woman she becomes.

Library: SWOCC

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069987/

Amazon:A Doll's House

Soso Rom Coms

Knocked Up

I cannot even begin to imagine that a tool like Seth Rogen could wash the CAR of Katherine Heigl. I don't care how much alcohol she pours down her throat, no way no how she'd give him the time of day. Biology keeps us within a couple degrees of hotness when picking our mate.

Then they try and work it out after they're pregnant? In what universe? The premise lost me but a few scenes charm with their sex humor. Rogen and his friends act like children but nothing about this film is suitable for kids.

I also laughed when raging hormones makes her toss him out of the car. He's forced to walk to the doctor's office. To his credit, he shows up still.

Many people loved this film. These are my opinions, you may think something different.

Library: Myrtle Point & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478311/

Amazon: Knocked Up (Widescreen Edition)

Edge of Seventeen

A confused young man explores his sexuality and figures out he's gay. There are so many better flicks that explore the coming of age scene, pick one of them. I'd start with A Beautiful Thing.

I'm kind of not keen on how the kid once he starts figuring out his orientation, he keeps leading the girl on. That's not cool to the girl.

Library: Bandon.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138414/

Amazon: Edge of Seventeen

Employee of the Month

Slacker Dane Cook vies for model worker status in the hopes of winning the affections of hot new employee Jessica Simpson. His rival played by Dax Shepard normally wins the title moniker.

It's a nice sense of camaraderie between the slacker and his work buddies, until he messes that up over the girl. Very much cartoon acting. Especially with someone like Andy Dick in the cast.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424993/

Amazon: Employee of the Month

Good Review: Failure to Launch

Failure to Launch

Parents Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw can't get Matthew McConaughey out of the house so they enlist fake girlfriend Sarah Jessica Parker to give him an incentive. The trouble is, she really falls for the goofy guy, and he still maintains his commitment issues.

I might have rated this higher, but the whole subplot about nature hating McConaughey's character turned me off. I didn't like the campy way animals kept biting him. Everything else made me laugh and feel for these parents and the childish guy friends.

Zooey Deschanel charms as Parker's quirky roommate. I just can't say how much I love Bates and she just proves how much she deserved Oscar notice. Watch out for Terry Bradshaw's naked behind though. This film isn't for kiddies. It's funny as hell and part of the plot, but I probably could have done without seeing naked old man butt.

Look in Bandon, Dora, Myrtle Point and North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0427229/

Buy this DVD from Amazon: Failure to Launch (Special Collector's Edition)

Kiddie Dogs

Fairly Oddparents
the Movie

Definitely for kiddies, I hated this so much. Too much flash and fast speak to understand the words. Maybe little kids would like it but I don't know. A 10-year-old boy with working parents makes wishes and gets fairy godparents who take care of him. I got bored and switched it off after that.

Library: Coquille

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363600/

Amazon: The Fairly OddParents: Abra-catastrophe! The Movie

The Extreme Adventures of Super Dave

More like the extreme adventures of stupid Dave. Where Jim Varney's Ernest P. Worrell character charms with his ridiculous antics Super Dave Osborne bores me to tears.

I don't like how he crashes through everything and doesn't seem to suffer any consequences. One moment of almost funny when blind Ray Charles drives a bus through the streets of Las Vegas, but nothing can make up for all the terrible acting and dumb plot. Use your judgement, but I wouldn't let my kids or grandkids watch this.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144096/

Amazon: The Extreme Adventures of Super Dave

Watch List

Dreamer

In the world of horse racing one false move or one injury puts you out of the game. Second chances are rare. Ben Crane played by Kurt Russell doesn't believe in second chances anymore. Luckily for racehorse Dreamer, his daughter Cale, Dakota Fanning, still has hope.

Cale begs her father to let her keep the broken down horse to sire her to another champion, but they soon find she cannot reproduce. While exercising, the horse gets spooked and takes off running and Ben notices the injuries that put her to pasture have healed.

The family plots to get her entered into a high stakes race. Sometimes a little hope goes a long way.

I can't help but think there are much better horse films with much better plots, but this nice piece of family fluff is a sweet way to spend a couple hours.

Library: Dora, Lakeside, North Bend & Powers.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418647/

Amazon: Dreamer - Inspired By a True Story (Widescreen Edition)

Drumline

A talented, yet undisciplined young man goes to college on a band scholarship. When he gets there, he's convinced he's the greatest drummer in the universe and the band leader has to take him down a couple of pegs.

We've seen this plot played out in many films and it's nice to see music and choreography that isn't "like everything else." Pick it up from this fine library.

Library: Bandon

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303933/

Amazon: Drumline (Special Edition)

Eight Below

Dog sled expert, Jerry Shepard, has better relationships with his canine friends than he does with people. He fails to see that his lady friend still loves him and he sometimes treats other men like misbehaving dogs. He fails to understand social interaction on a human level.

After helping a scientist out onto the snowy tundra, a huge storm forces him to leave his dogs behind for far longer than expected. When he finally does return, he expects to find them all dead. We see several break free from their chains and forage the frozen wasteland for food.

The dogs are cute and the story progresses nicely. Well worth a watch for dog lovers.

Library: Bandon, Myrtle Point & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397313/

Amazon:Eight Below (Full Screen Edition)

The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Japanese Title:
Koneko Monogatari

Cute little tale of a dog and kitty going on an adventure away from home. It's alright but I got bored. Might entertain a toddler for a couple of hours. Masanori Hata wrote and directed the film in Japanese, but they hired Dudley Moore to narrate the English version.

Library: VHS; Bandon & Coos Bay. DVD; Bandon, Coquille, Myrtle Point, North Bend & Powers

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097050/

Amazon: The Adventures of Milo and Otis

The Last Mimzy

This film tried real hard to be a kiddy science fiction flick, but came off too adult and too childish at the same time. They talked about dreams and the future and the past as if we're supposed to totally follow all the illogical logic.

While playing on the beach, two children find some rocks that spin and float. They hide them from their parents and take them back home. After some time passes and the rocks give the children mysterious powers and they build a weird device that blacks out half of Seattle.

Big bad government man, Michael Clarke Duncan, imprisons the kids for causing the black out but they escape and contact the boy's teacher, Rainn Wilson, to help them get back to the beach. Somehow the strange device opens a hole in time and nearly sucks the little girl into the future. Yeah, I'm confused and I saw it already.

Library: Dora, Myrtle Point & North Bend.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0768212/